Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, there lived a man named Steve. Now, this man was not particularly brave, strong, or handsome. He was, however, a smart man. He was not only book smart, but had street smarts. He had a keen sense of instinct and knew when something was wrong. Steve had a best friend named Bill. Bill was slightly dim-witted, and followed Steve's every word and request.
This man had long been wooed by a beautiful woman named Alana. This woman had flowing blonde hair and eyes as blue as the ocean. Steve had long been enchanted with this woman's looks, as had Bill. But unbeknowest to them, she was an evil sorceress who planned on the destruction of Steve. Steve's great grandfather, a renowned wizard, had defeated Alana's great grandmother, an evil sorcereress. Alana's family has passed down the hatred of Steve's family from generation to generation, and Alana was the family chosen one to defeat Steve.
Alana planned to use to beauty to destroy Steve. She would pretend to be a damsel in distress and would let Steve save her. After the "battle" Steve would kiss Alana, activating an ancient spell, which would irreversibly turn Steve into a lizard. Alana planned and planned and planned, all the while wooing Steve from afar to entice him to kiss her after the "battle"
At long last, Alana's plan was ready. She enlisted her family's pack of bears to be her "attackers". As Steve was walking along the street, closely followed by Bill, he heard a cry of "help, help!". Steve ran into the forest where the sounds had come from, and saw Alana surrounded by her pack of bears. Ignoring the fact that these kind of bears were completely not native to that area, Steve remembered a fact about bears.
Bears will usually end an attack if the victim plays dead and rolls up into a ball. Remembering this, Steve grabbed Alana and they both got down to the ground. The bears, silently cued by Alana, retreated. Alana looked up at Steve and cooed "my hero!" As Alana leaned in for her fatal kiss, Steve sprung into action.
You see, Steve also knew of his and Alana's ancestors and history. He trusted his instincts that Alana would try something. Steve grabbed his pet lizard from Bill and planted the lizard's lips on Alana's, backfiring her intended spell. Instead of turning Steve into a lizard, Alana turned into one! Steve would live the rest of his life happily.
MORAL: Trust your instincts
Monday, October 5, 2009
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